The Flowing Waters of Grief: The Healing Powers of Love
“The people coming together for that memorial service helped with the grieving. It was like someone took a thumb out of a dike, and it just flowed.” —Carla Golden (HEART GUIDE) lost her boyfriend and his college classmates in a plane crash.
“Love transcends time and loss, and it adds meaning to our lives.” —Karen Peck (HEART GUIDE) lost her sister.
This month’s blog continues to honor the stories of healing from traumatic loss as shared in my new book, HEART GUIDE: True Stories of Grief and Healing.
What I’ve learned from the many people I interviewed is that we don’t “get over” the death of someone we love. We also can’t fix or placate the intense sorrow we feel. Our experiences of loss — like our experiences of joy — become significant strands in the web of our life story. Like a spider weaving in the night, our web may glisten beautifully in the early morning sun, or it may require extensive repairs after a heavy storm. At other times, it must be woven anew.
Carla, who lost her first love, says, “My suggestion for dealing with grief is to feel the feelings. … It takes however long it takes.” There’s no avoiding or running from our feelings. Anniversaries, holidays, and special events may trigger sadness, year after year. And that’s okay.
Meredith Eastwood, who lost her husband and her father, says of grief, “It’s an ongoing process, not just one effort. It’s also not necessarily over. We have to address things again and see them in a different way.”
Karen, whose sister committed suicide, agrees. “It’s a process that will be there for the rest of your life. Hopefully, each time you revisit it there is a little more peace.” She further explains, “The feelings of hope or renewal come when you take that loss and turn it into something good.”
For instance, we can tell the people in our lives that we love them. We can cherish our friends and family. We can also honor the memories of those individuals who have passed. We can talk about our loved ones and share the stories of their lives.
We can keep our loved ones alive in our heart.
“Those we love are always with us,” says Meredith. “We draw on them, and they come to us. We carry them in our hearts. We dream about them. And they do love us. Our ancestors are lining up behind us, and I can feel their love.”
For both the people who are here and for the people who have passed, our love is eternal. It is powerful healing medicine for the heart.
As Helen Keller aptly stated, “All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.”
In joy and gratitude,
Diana J. Ensign
Bringing Love to Life
Tune in for Richard Brendan’s radio interview with Diana about her new book, HEART GUIDE.
Sunday, September 3, 2017, 1:00 pm EST at www.richardbrendan.org
Sunday, September 3, 2017 at noon on 88.7 WICR in Central Indiana
Join Delynn Curtis and Diana Ensign for this healing retreat.
Friday, September 15 (6:30 – 8:00 pm)
Saturday, September 16 (10:00 am – 3:00 pm)
The Way Home, 521 Oakwood Drive, Indianapolis
thewayhomeindy [at] gmail [dot] com
“Grief: What We Need to Know for Healing the Heart
Official Launch of HEART GUIDE!
Friday, September 22, 2017, from 7:00 – 9:00 pm
Indiana Interchurch Center, Krannert Assembly Hall
1100 W. 42nd St., Indianapolis IN 46208
Please let us know you’re coming on our Facebook event page. Free Event hosted by Overdose Lifeline.