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It’s Okay to Feel Our Grief

Sunset over a beach with a dark colored sand bar splitting the water.

This month is the anniversary of a family member’s passing, and I want to share a few passages from Heart Guide that may help you in your own grief journey: 

“It’s completely okay to not know how to deal with any of this. It’s okay to do whatever you need to do to help you. There’s no one right way for any person to react. … I try to focus on the things I know will bring me joy. …You redirect yourself to remember: What are the things that bring me happiness? What are the things that bring me joy? Try to continue to do those and not pull away from normal life, as much as you possibly can.” —Vanessa

“When I’m really, really missing Ellen, those times come unbidden. Every now and then it just hits me. I spend that time missing her ferociously. There’s nothing you can do about it. It passes. The world is full of interesting things to do and people to know. … The question is how to get through missing routines: dinner, coffee together. You have to accept it, and feel the pain if it’s painful. … I am profoundly grateful for the life I’ve had with Ellen. Every moment is a good deal more precious now.” —Ralph

“The other thing I’ve learned is that time is the great healer. It has been a process of just living each day and finding ways of honoring her memory and also honoring when I’m sad or happy. … Just a year ago, my dad asked if everybody would write a memory about Carol. We had an email exchange throughout the family. It was sweet. I was glad to do that, and it surprises me that none of us thought of that sooner. But it was really helpful.” —Lori

“You never get over the loss, but what you learn to do is to live with it. In our case, we try to be as engaged and productive as we possibly can be. … The future is totally unknown and hasn’t unfolded yet. So, I try to practice living in the present, as mindfully and productively as I possibly can.” —JoAnn

“At some point, you’ll feel their presence again. … Maybe not now, but you’ll feel it again. A song comes on or a certain thought will come to you, and you’ll feel that connection again. You have to know life goes on and to cherish the really good memories that you have. You can remember what made you happy about being around the person. And if you have kids, you can tell them how awesome their grandma or grandpa was. Keep that alive.” —Lia

In gratitude to all the people who shared their stories—with such honesty, courage, and love.

May your own healing journey bring peaceful moments to your heart this day.

Be well.


Peace & Love,

Diana Ensign

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